Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Meeting Mr. Right

I am basically happy with my life as it is at least most of the time. I do however get lonely sometimes and meeting the perfect man or even a half-way decent man has proven to be extremely hard these days. I know some of the reason is my fault because I don't get out to socialize much, but there are reasons for that........
1st.............I have a 5 year old that takes up most of my free time.

2nd............Half of my friends are married. It is this set of friends that make it the most difficult to be single. I think they forget how hard it is to date and be a single parent. They are always pushing me to meet people, but how am I suppose to do that if all we do is hang out at their houses. Especially since they don't have any single friends to set me up with. Then they are always teasing me about being single and needing to hook up with someone. I don't want to just hook up with some one. I want serious.

3rd............The other half of my friends are single and have no responsibilities other than themselves. This means they are always going out and most of the time at the last minute and late at night. They don't really seem to understand that getting a sitter at last minute is almost impossible and also that partying til 2 in the morning doesn't really work when you have to get up for work at 5am that same morning. Even if all of this was ok the bars that they frequent are not exactly the best place to meet a "nice" guy.

4th...........I really don't want to admit this, but one reason is just ME. I have never been a real social type. I love to hang out with people, but not really at loud obnoxious bars/night clubs. I have also been told that I can be a little intimidating. I didn't really understand this, but I have had it explained to me. Apparently my sense of humor/sarcasm can make me seem a little mean. I have met people with similar personalities and we get along great. I just haven't found that one guy who can handle it. My friends have said that I should be nice so that someone will like me, but I don't think I should have to change who I am for someone to like me. I mean I am obviously a good person or I wouldn't have so many friends.

Now that I have hashed out why I don't have a love life let me tell you why this was brought up. I volunteered to babysit a friends kids so her and her husband could go out for her birthday. They decided they weren't gonna go out, but that I should still come over to hang out. I decided that I was just gonna stay home since I was dog sitting and it was more convenient to stay home since they live 40 minutes from me. I mean I wouldn't have been able to drink and I wouldn't have been able to stay too long since I had to let the dog out. Her response to this was that I am never gonna meet a guy with always dog sitting. The way she said it really hurt my feelings. She is always nagging me to get out and meet guys, but she is also the one who always wants to stay in. So I said to her that I am not gonna meet anyone just sitting in her living room. It is things like this that just make me mad. I want to meet someone, but I am not gonna go out every night to try to pick someone up. I figure it will happen if it was meant to happen.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.


Lisa said...

I don't understand why married people are always nagging their single friends to find someone. I was that girl years ago. It is really, really difficult to find someone you connect with in the St. Louis dating scene. Alot of guys I met were totally into mind games and wanted a girl who did that sort of thing too.

If Marc and I go to a dance bar or some other bar, often times we look around and are like, "Oh God. I'm so glad I'm not single."

But I feel for you. Its difficult in this city.

Jaelithe said...

I can't imagine trying to date as a single mother. It's hard enough for me to find enough time to spend with my husband as a MARRIED MOTHER.

Those friends of yours who keep nagging you about being single should volunteer to BABYSIT for you one night so you can get out. Seriously. Put your money where your mouth is, people ;)

I've actually been asking the single mom who lives upstairs from me to let me watch her son for her for free sometime so she can go out (or even just get some sleep-- she is a nurse and often works night shifts at the ER). She hasn't taken me up on it yet; I think she is either worried that her son (who is a wee bit on the over-active side) will drive me nuts, or she is worried I will want some sort of favor in return, and doesn't want to obligate herself.

I wouldn't expect anything in return for helping a nice single mom have one good night out on the town, though. I was raised by a single mother who worked her ass off taking care of three kids and going to school and working all at the same time; she is now in her late 40s and yet acts like someone in her 60s.

Every time I see my neighbor upstairs looking exhausted after another night shift at the hospital, I see my own mother.

Could you maybe set up some sort of weekly babysitting exchange with one of the married couples you know who have kids? I am sure a lot of them miss going on "dates" with their sig others. I know I do!